from 10/05-10/12

10/12

Final entry of this post, oohoo!! At this very important time, I ask: Is anyone alive out there?
Sometimes it does feel like everyone is parroting what they hear around them to fit in, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, so full of base desires that they treat everyone badly. Often a combination of both. I do not believe having wicked desires is an intrinsic part of being a human, so I do often wonder where they come from.
"Tell me where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?"

10/11

HELLO EVERYONE! I realized recently, that I am a TOTAL! LOSER! Like in every sense I could fathom, I am pretty cringe, I spend most of my time on the computer, and boy oh boy I was bullied all through school. I bring this up for a VERY good reason, I watched the movie 'The Dirties' because I thought a movie with such an unexplored subject matter would be fascinating, but in the end I related very hard to the movie ‘The Dirties’, because it explored bullying (and having extreme interests) in a super realistic way. I owe it to the fact that Matt (fictional atleast) has autism and can only relate to others by acting, or emulating movie tropes, and that is how he deals with all the intense things happening to him.

Last week or so I realized that is ME! Putting aside the dirties for a moment, I don’t think I could ever even get close to the neurotypical idea of authenticity, and I have never been able to be myself in the traditional sense, but I think it is important to know that my way of expressing myself and relating to others (through such a strict and not at at all grounded lens) is just as real and meaningful as the way normal people relate to eachother. ALSO RELEVANT: Abed, from community, he especially helped me think about all this because I used to act EXACTLY like him. Vlog of the concert coming SOON! Not sure if I will post it in this entry or a new one next week. It will be a new start. #ANUSTART!!!

SO go watch the dirties now, it's a bit intense, and extremely uncomfortable, but it deserves a compassionate and nuanced look, and I firmly believe real life school shootings do as well. Something about that movie feels so human. It makes ME feel human. Movie of all time I give it 10/10.

10/09

DUDE!!!!!! UNDERTALE SYMPHONY!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!! I took the bus up there at 6pm with no ticket, arrived at 7:30, bought one of the last tickets, saw the awesome show surrounded by people that are unequivocally my people, then took the bus back home at midnight, across from a man with a tv head. I usually go to bed at 9pm ish but staying up late tonight was worth it. Goodnigfht folks.

10/06

One thing that I believe everyone knows about me, irregardless of their opinion of me, is that I would rather be wrong 100 times than feign correctness for the approval of the crowd, and I think that is a very important

I have known three cases of knowing a man, thinking a man is “one of the good ones” and then finding out that they are cheating. WHAT is the deal with these guys? I wonder mostly what the reason for their pretending is, is it because they were attracted to someone who is into monogamy? It is very strange, isn’t it? People are very confusing, aren’t they?

IN OTHER NEWS

I have brought out my 3DS again, I don’t remember purchasing this one (the first step to solbing a problem is admitting it is a problem) BUT it has とびだせどうぶつの森 and 太鼓の達人 (animal crossing and taiko) and I enjoy taiko IMMENSELY

10/05

I GOTTA GET A COSTUME!!! oh my days. Halloween is soon. I haven't celebrated properly in years, so I gotta redeem myself. Even if none of my dork ass friends want to come, I will trick and treat, I'll get a pillowcase and I'll fill it three houses. I'LL FILL IT THREE HOUSES!!!

I was thinking, costume wise, my choices are:
-Buddha (ideally with jesus. From nazareth. #bestbuds.)
-Link legend of Zelda. (most comfortable)
-7/11 cashier? (I'm really pressed for ideas)

I also have been thinking of studying Japanese much harder from now on, I haven't truly practiced in maybe 5 full months, so I'll be doing flashcards and playing Japanese games (とびだせどうぶつの森) every morning, to start. If anyone is studying and wants to be my study partner hmu! https://heyquatro.com/contact

The episode that is a WIP atm:

Signed,
Yours truly,
Quatro

P.S. hey everyone. bye.